I have a bucket list of things I want to do/ try before I…well…kick the bucket.
One of those things on the list was to get a psychic reading and honeeeey…
It was not disappointing.
The readings that I had intertwined with the words of my therapist have brought me to such a peaceful place.
For many years I’ve heard the phrase, “You teach people how to treat you.”
You know how you hear phrases, but you don’t internalize them? That was me with this saying.
It wasn’t until my therapist said this to me and told me that I have taught people that they can mistreat me or use me and I would stick around and take it. She said that since I’ve taught people that I’ll always stick around no matter what, when I stand up for myself, it seems like a betrayal or a way to provoke a negative emotion.
She was right.
I’ve always been a pushover. I know this.
So then it got me thinking about what else I’ve taught people.
Then that got me thinking about what others have taught me about how I CAN treat them.
I used the word “can” instead of “should” because we don’t always treat people the way we should. Myself included.
This sentiment was echoed when I spoke with a psychic.
“I can tell that you are a huge empath. You are always there for people to dump on you. I’m showing that you have even made a career out of it. You allow people to put their dirt on you everyday and you take it without even cleansing yourself of it.”
She was right, too.
Sometimes I have no capacity to hear what others need to discuss, but I am the person that always makes room. I thought it was just being a good friend, but I didn’t realize the damage I was causing myself.
Do we really need to dirty ourselves up to be considered a good friend?
My therapist told me that I need to start telling people when I don’t have the emotional space for their concerns that day.
Have I implemented this yet? Not quite.
Leave me alone. I’m human. lol
But I have at least considered it every time.
The best thing we can do for others before dumping on them is asking, “Hey, do you have space for my issues right now?”
We have to allow people the opportunity to say “no.”
I was also told by the psychic that there may be conflicts in some of my relationships and I am making the right decisions by taking a step back and focusing on me.
She recognized that I had been doubting myself and feeling guilty for actually practicing self-care. She told me to stop caring what others thought.
There were plenty of other things shared, but a lot of it is stuff that I would like to keep personal.
I just say all this to ask you a question…
What have you unknowingly taught others about how they can treat you?
Have you taught them positive things or have you taught them that you can be taken advantage of?
Be mindful. Be kind. Be aware.
P. S. I’m in the midst of working on a new project for people of color that are bipolar. Contact me for more information!