I get approached by guys a lot.
I don’t mean this in a cocky way, but to say that I’ve made a lot of observations about the way men think it’s ok to approach a woman.
Whether they initially came direct and stated their intentions or if they waited a little bit and let me figure it out myself, there has been an outstanding amount of men that have ultimately wanted the same thing. This is by no means a way of me saying that men only want one thing or that all men are the same, but this is just what I have experienced with a lot of guys.
It’s so funny to me because so many dudes have spent time attempting to know me physically. Their go-to move is to state what they can do for me in the physical sense. I just laugh to myself and think “I’m so going to write about this later.”
NEWSFLASH: That is not what I’m looking for when I speak to a guy. I don’t want a physical relationship. That’s not what I’m interested in at all.
You want to connect to me? Stimulate my mind.
Tell me something that I don’t know and make me think further into myself.
This is something that I realized I haven’t really experienced with a guy. I have yet to meet a man that makes me take time to really wonder about life or want to do a little more digging into a foreign subject.
For the most part, I’ve only encountered men who kept me guessing…in a negative way.
Monday night, I took time and made a list of all the qualities I want in my “Man of God” (it was 2 pages long, y’all). I thought about all of the things I was lacking in my past relationships and guys that I had “talked to” and I realized that, along with guys not recognizing my worth and appreciating me, there was no serious mental stimulation. No, no, no. No shade. No shade. *Nicki Minaj voice* *sips tea*
Seeing that I’m not seeking a sexual experience, but a mental and subconscious one, I wrote a poem as if an intellectual conversation was just that: sex.
Now, this may get a bit awkward because of some of my readers (Hi, Mom!) but I think the purpose of the poem, if understood, is a very dope concept.
He walks in,
lights dim and soft music playing.
Candles are lit and he looks over
at me with desire in his eyes.
He caresses my mind,
giving time for it to adjust to his touch.
It’s my first time and I hope he’s gentle.
He leans into my thoughts.
Kissing them gently,
Opening his mouth to expose a little tongue.
“You’re so beautiful”, he whispers.
Eyes meet. Brain cells start shifting faster.
This is it.
Alliteration, autonomies, and articles from the past begin seeping from his lips.
My head tilts back and my left eye involuntarily winks as my dreams begin free-flowing and leaking about.
He uses every drop of knowledge to push deeper into conversation.
He can tell that I don’t know what to do next
so he directs my intellect.
He blows softly on the windmills of my curiosity,
while heavily stroking the depths of my spirit.
He spreads my inner fears and
secures me with his confident dialect.
I try to do for him but
his tongue dances back on to the topic of myself.
I feel a sudden rush.
Almost like refilling a water bottle and momentum is gained once the top is reached.
I begin holding my breath.
My toes start to curl.
My grip tightens.
I close my eyes as hard as I can.
I begin sweating.
I let out a loud moan.
as my legs began to shake because the peak of my love and admiration had been reached…
He prayed for me.
And we sat there,
completely covered in each other’s words,
awaiting energy to grope one another’s thoughts yet again.
Stay blessed, my people.
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